A Cautionary Tale about Differing Philosophies of Gift-Wrapping

Some people are meticulous when it comes to wrapping Christmas presents. They carefully pick paper that suits the occasion, the gift itself, and possibly even the personality of the person receiving the present; then, they work assiduously to cut in straight lines, tape everything together neatly, and then proudly present their handiwork with a self-satisfied grin, perhaps hoping that someone will say, "Ooooh, what a beautiful wrapping job! I honestly hate to open this!" I used to be one of those meticulous wrappers, though I cannot say this without any qualification--I was meticulous until, say, around the age of twelve when my mother stopped paying me ten cents for every neat wrapping job. After that, I became a lazy wrapper, and I have remained one to this day, at thirty-two years of age.

I am, unfortunately, one of those awful people who tends to prefer to buy those ridiculously overpriced gift bags--the ones that (whether or not this is an accurate sentiment) scream, "I dumped your gift in here because I didn't have the five minutes it would have taken to wrap it myself. Seriously, I'm just not that into you. But hey, at east it's a pretty bag. And I even did that swirly thing with the ribbon that's tying it together." Sometimes I even "regift" the gift bags that are given to me by friends and relatives who belong to my same lazy wrapper cohort. (I know: does it get lower that that? Well, read on...)

But the point of this post actually pertains to marriage, and how a husband and wife navigate and come to grips with their different points of view about gift wrapping. This, the issue of one's approach to preparing presents for family members, may actually be one of those questions a couple should ask each other before getting hitched, right up there with "Are you religious?"

I recently spent my first Christmas with my new husband, a wonderful man in every way imaginable. He did, in fact, wrap all of his presents to me very nicely, in several different patterns of Christmas wrapping paper. It was so sweet, and it gave me the chance to see each one several days before the holiday and wonder what each one was. I, in turn, did not wrap any of his gifts, but instead chose to lay them all out on the couch before he woke on Christmas morning and pretend that Santa had come. Perhaps that's a lame approach for people in their thirties, but, hey, I wanted to be creative on our first holiday. But I've never seen anyone pull a move like he did for his brother, for whom he bought some nice beer.

Who says you can't wrap an entire present in electrical tape? Not my innovative husband, that's for sure. So, that's exactly what he proceeded to do (as a joke, but still), and the job took several minutes, as I looked on in amused shock. Now, I am convinced that many women, faced with such a spectacle, might begin to question the entire foundation of their relationship. "Who is this man?" They might wonder in the wee hours as they look over at their sleeping spouse. However, I think I can see us using our disparate gift wrapping philosophies to bring us closer together. His birthday is coming up, so who knows? He may get something covered in aluminum foil, or even normal wrapping paper, but with a Hello Kitty motif...