Setting the record straight

I know bad movies. And I can even admit when I have chosen one either to rent or see at the theater (I will, in fact, discuss such an instance, with a qualification or two that kind of shifts some of the blame, further below). But I have to set the record straight about something--"Fame" vs. "The Last Airbender".

On our first date, my husband and I went to see "Fame"--an event that he attributes entirely to me to this day. And it was a bad movie--the writing was bad, the acting was bad, and it even had no resemblance to the early 80s series of the same name, which was slightly less bad. Yes, I did in fact choose that film, but it was one of those instances where you show up at the theater, see what is about to start playing within the next 30 minutes (which limits options quite a bit) and pick something (this is the part I blame on my sweet hubby). I believe we were left with two options--the other one was something starring Matt Damon, and clearly I chose the wrong option. but yes, I did in fact choose "Fame." And we proceeded to sit next to each other, squirming uncomfortably, for the next hour and a half. So, I more or less attribute our "Fame" fiasco to haphazard moviegoing and a lack of preparedness. Shame on both of us, I say!

Yesterday, we went to see "The Last Airbender" with our friends and their daughter. Wow. It was bad--but at lunch afterward, the love of my life reassured everyone that it was not as terrible as the infamous "Fame," which he also made sure to declare that I had chosen for our first date. Here is where I must protest. And actually, my favorite movie review site, rottentomatoes.com, agrees with me, awarding Airbender a measly grade of 8 out of 100 (out of 114 reviews, 9 were positive--lukewarm, really), and Fame a 27 (out of 104 reviews, 28 are "fresh" and 76 are "rotten").

With "Fame", you had many of the usual elements of a bad film--undeveloped characters you don't care about, cliches in the script, cliches about people not making the cut, bla bla bla. But with films like that, they allow you to check out emotionally and think about other things. With "Airbender", I felt like I was being assaulted...assaulted by every kiddie epic cliche in the book (the weird names, the pseudo mythology b.s., etc.) and bad kid acting, which runs neck and neck with being assaulted by bad tween acting, such as appears in "Fame", but "Airbender" was still far more damaging to my psyche. In fact, I told my husband when it was all over that this is the first time I have had a real fear that a movie would never end. Given a few hours to contemplate that, I thought maybe I was overreacting, but then I read a review by Charlie Anders that describes in more detail that exact same sentiment:

"You resist following this movie into the dark, scary place where heroes are pieces of furniture and heroism is a Monty Python routine performed by someone who's never seen the original episodes. But then it's too late - you've passed over the threshold, you are committed, you are on the journey and the story won't let you go. You have been drawn into a place where you will lose, not only your power as an audience member, but quite possibly your mental faculties altogether." (the full review is at http://io9.com/5576076/m-night-shyamalan-finally-made-a-comedy)

I am not going to re-enumerate the Airbender's many shortcomings, because so many others have already rushed to do it in some kind of mass public service announcement to spare other innocents the pain of sitting through this thing, but simply have to say...Fame was not this bad.

And to my sweet husband, I love you! And I'm off to play with the pup now.